Baby News: #4 in July

It's about time to write about this pregnancy... which is thankfully 6 months over. 

We found out back in November that we were expecting again, after about a year of waiting.  I initially felt a few symptoms, like having to get up and use the bathroom in the middle of the night, and being very tired.  And then it seemed like the symptoms stopped abrubtly.  After my miscarriage  last year, when most symptoms stopped after the fetus stopped growing at 7 weeks, I was sure I was experiencing the same thing.  The problem was, I didn't have a primary care doctor yet (my appointment was still a month away), so I couldn't get a referral to an OB to confirm whether or not the fetus was moving.  

I called around to find any primary care doctor who could get me in ASAP.  (Turns out, the one I picked is awful.  No wonder she had no wait...)  She was congratulating me on my positive pregnancy test, and I kept trying to explain what I thought was going on.  Eventually, I got an appointment with an OB around 9 weeks.  (Again, the winner was whoever could see me soonest.)  I told him I thought I was going to miscarry, and I was explaining my preferences.  I had to bring all 3 kids to the appointment, too, so I prepped myself to have emotions of steel so they didn't get freaked out.  They were sitting on the floor quietly playing games on my phone when the doctor did an ultrasound, and said everything looked normal.  I couldn't believe it!

So what ended up being a 'blessing' of having no morning sickness like 3 previous pregnancies actually caused me a lot of anguish in my first few months.  Sickness is the worst, but is also a pretty good sign for me that I'm actually pregnant.  

[We told the kids pretty early on about the baby, but didn't talk about it a lot or try to get them excited--for obvious reasons.  We explained that we had to go to a doctor to find out whether the baby was going to grow or not.  Once it was confirmed, they have been so thrilled.  Just seeing their excitement is worth having another baby.  They hug it, and rub my belly.  Tiago talks about sharing his blanket and Siena and Mila have even volunteered to change diapers.  Mila keeps repeating, "Our baby is going to be sooo cute."  And Tiago declares every new piece of baby clothing the 'cutest thing he's ever seen.']

My first trimester I felt super tired (like falling asleep by 9 pm every night and sleeping as long as possible) and on and off felt like my body was coming down with the flu-- just achy.  Most of my second trimester I've felt fine, although I still need 9+ hours of sleep every night.  I've started to wake up more in the middle of the night having a hard time sleeping.  And heartburn has come back with a vengeance.  (Courtney is also pregnant, and was explaining this feeling of having food 'stuck' in her throat and coming back up.  I was like, "And that is heartburn, which you've probably never experienced before.  Have some tums...")

The most notable thing in my second trimester is just how much weight I've gained.  In a 9 day period, I gained about 10 lbs!  I couldn't believe the scale.  At this rate, I'm going to be enormous by the time I deliver.  And I've been having ongoing back pain, since I can't take any anti-inflammatory medicine, so I feel like a whale that can't move-- huge belly in front and no strength in my back.  Turning over at night feels like an Olympic sport.  

And to rub salt in my wounds, many of my maternity clothes don't fit.  I started this pregnancy heavier than before, and have gained more weight, so I'm just buying a few more (bigger) things.  And anyway, Texas is already hot, so all I really need are shorts, tshirts, and baggy dresses. 

We feel super grateful.  Every time I go to an appointment and they say everything looks normal, I let out a sigh of relief.  I'm sure it's common after miscarriage but I keep half-expecting the worst to happen.  Like I can't fully let myself enjoy the experience.  Going to doctor appointments with my first two pregnancies it never even occurred to me that I might recieve bad news.  

I'm technically due on July 17th.  I'm hoping to be induced on Monday, the 15th.  (We'll see how my plan goes.)  Jenna volunteered to come help with the older kids.  (Courtney is due that same week, and twins trumps a single baby for getting Mom's help.)  We are making progress with baby things-- buying more summer clothes, setting up a dresser, attempting to sort through all the baby stuff we have.  

Gender

We found out at the end of February, at 20 weeks, that we were having a boy.  That was the anatomy scan ultrasound, which was so much different than my ultrasound experiences in Germany.  Hyrum wanted a boy, I was fine with either, and Tiago was thrilled to find out there would be equal numbers of boys and girls in our family, now.  We filled a small pinata with blue candy for the kids to break, but it took forever to open it.  By the time the candy fell out the girls were so excited by the chocolate they completely forgot about whether the baby was a boy or girl.  But Tiago caught on and said he got just what he wanted. I hope the kids all stay this enthusiastic when we have a low-key summer with a newborn baby that might cry a lot. 

(When we took these pictures, Tiago got mad about something.  You can see one of the out-takes of him looking furious.  I bribed him with smarties, and got a quick smile in one shot before calling it quits.)

 Here are a few belly shots, from top to bottom: 18 weeks, 19.5 weeks, 21 weeks, 23.5 weeks and 27 weeks.

And just for fun... here's how big I was at 27 weeks with twins.  I'd say my belly might be a little smaller right now, but the rest of me is sure bigger. 

Mila and Siena's birth story

(L) Siena, born 1:41 am, March 4, weighing 5 lb 10 oz
(R) Mila, born 1:38 am, March 4, weighing 5 lb 2 oz
Amberg, Germany

 Nothing about the twins birth played out like I had expected.  I’m glad it’s over, and I almost don’t want to re-live it by typing it up.  But for memory’s sake, here goes…

Checking in for an induction, and hanging out at the hospital

We got to the hospital at 8 am on Tuesday for a scheduled induction, since 37 weeks is full-term for twins.  The first glitch was when they (wrongly) told me I was supposed to come in on Wednesday, not Tuesday.  But I was already there, and ready to have some babies, so I made them keep me. 

After getting checked in, checked out, and monitored, the doctor said my cervix was completely closed, but the babies were in the right position still.  By 10 am, they started giving me prostaglandin pills orally every 2-ish hours to ripen the cervix.  They weren’t going to do anything about contractions (oxytocin) until I was dilated to at least 3 cm.  That was discouraging, because I wasn’t progressing at all.  So we spent the whole day hanging out in my ‘recovery room’ and being strapped to the monitoring machine for an hour at a time.  At 4:30 I’d taken my 3^rd pill, and when they checked me (super painful!) I was still completely closed. 

This is how we spent most of the day.  Boring!

At that point I was frustrated.  I hadn’t seen a doctor in several hours.  Many of the nurses didn’t speak English so my questions were going unanswered. Basically, I wanted to know what the game plan was. 

After the first pill I started having mild contractions, which were getting more intense as the day went on.  But for all the pain I was having (including back labor), nothing was changing.  I was just being told, “Come back in 2 hrs”, which could continue all day, night, day, night, etc. 

They sensed my frustration, and a doctor eventually came in to talk to me.  But instead of listening to my concerns, he just kept telling me to be patient, and that this would be a better path than just getting a c-section.  (Obviously.)  This was the 4^th doctor I’d seen that day.  He said it had only been a few hours (9!?) and that this was the best situation possible.  I should try to get some sleep that night, and they’d re-evaluate in the morning. (The lady I was sharing a room with was in the hospital for 4 days trying to be induced, before ending up with a C-section.  I did not want that to happen.)

“Bedtime”

At 6:30 I had my fourth pill, and then told Hyrum he might as well go home.  With shared rooms in the hospitals here, spouses can’t stay overnight anyway.  I’d call him if anything happened.

At 8pm I was monitored again, but not given a pill. I asked for pain medication so I could sleep better, but like normal, but medicine they put in my IV didn’t do anything.  I laid in bed for several hours before going back to request something stronger.  Another hour of monitoring later, they gave me something that made me very dizzy, and pretty tired.  (Cervix was still completely closed.)  I got very close to sleeping, and was startled by some seriously painful contractions.  I thought I’d try going to the bathroom to see if it helped, but to my surprise, my water broke.  That was at midnight.  (So much for any sleep!)

0 to 10 in about 60 minutes (ie: worst hour of my life)

It took me a solid 15 minutes to walk down the hallway to labor and delivery.  They hooked me up to the monitors again, and the contractions were awful.  (It was actually the same delivery room where I had Tiago.)  I was crying pretty uncontrollably, and shaking, and had moments of hardly being able to breath.  I don’t think the sleep deprivation helped at all. The midwife was checked my cervix again: I was at 4 cm. A doctor came in and asked if I wanted an epidural.  Yes! ASAP!  Everything was going so quickly and I felt awful and was in so much pain.  I called Hyrum and told him to hurry back to the hospital, afraid he’d miss something.  (We live 25 minutes away.)  He made it in record time, right as the epidural was going in around 12:50 am.  A little after 1 I was checked again, and was dilated to a 9, and almost immediately I started feeling intense pressure in my pelvic area. 

I kept hoping my epidural would kick in before the actual delivery happened. I could feel my upper body get itchy, and the contractions weren’t quite as painful (based on the fact that I’d stopped crying at that point), but nothing was numb and I was in a lot of pain.

It’s not over ‘til they’re out

I asked if I could push when I felt the pressure, and the midwife said yes.  No one communicated much about where the babies were, or what to expect, so I was just pushing blindly hoping the misery would be over soon.  I don’t even think there was a doctor around yet, but they eventually came in.  While I don’t think I made any vocal noises when Tiago was born—just a lot of deep breathing—I was screaming my head off in the delivery room with the twins.  My eyes were closed tight; I didn’t really know what was going on; and I didn’t care.  I just kept pushing as they all yelled at me to push.  I think there were two doctors and a midwife there, and two of them had my legs pressed against them.  After about 15 minutes of pushing, the first baby was born.  Everyone else in the room was excited.  I think I only opened my eyes for about 2 seconds before going back to yelling in isolated misery, because it wasn’t over yet. 

After that I don’t know what happened.  More pain, probably some pushing and pulling inside/outside my stomach, and 3 minutes later, the second baby was born.  Equally painful.  Ring of fire takes on all new meaning now.  But of course it still wasn’t over.  I had to deliver the placenta, which was painful.  And then I had stitches (the Dr. wouldn’t tell me how many) which hurt like you’d imagine it would to have a needle going through a tender area of your body.  Thanks a lot, epidural.  Not much help.

Hyrum was able to cut the umbilical cords and hold the first baby after she came out.  They took the babies out of the room, then brought them back a few minutes later and let us hold them.  I wasn’t at all interested in skin-to-skin time with the babies because I was such a mess physically.   Plus, I was laying on my back, so when they handed me the first baby all wrapped up, I couldn’t even see her face.  In the midst of all the hoopla, the midwife came and asked Hyrum what names we were naming baby 1 and baby 2.  He looked at me, and it shows how out of it I was physically that I just told him, “I don’t care, you decide.”  Of course we had an idea of names, but I’d been telling him for weeks I wanted to be able to see the babies first.  Nope, out the window.  The first baby is named Mila, and the second baby is Siena.

Holding Mila, who was wide awake and looking at us.

This is the midwife that was there for the birth, and the several hours of monitoring beforehand.

Enjoying the babies

Once the doctors all left, it was a little better.  We could hold the babies and relax a bit more.  And I could finally just breath normal knowing the doctors weren’t going to inflict anymore pain on me.  Before the midwife left, I asked her if they had id tags on the babies, because there was no way I could keep track of who was who that night.  She said yes, fortunately.  The girls look very similar, with dark hair and dark eyes.  Baby skin is always a bit pink, so it’s hard to tell what their coloring will be.  Mila weighs less than Siena, so she looks smaller and thinner through the face.  We also noticed that Mila was the only one that was crying on and off, so that was how we could tell who was who.  Siena mostly just slept through the first several hours.  We can’t tell yet if they’re identical, but I’m leaning towards not.

The proud dad.  Hyrum has always been worried about all the blood and gore of a delivery room, , but in the end found it all kind of fascinating.  Lucky for him, it was quick.  

Not long after that, we started hearing yelling from the room next door.  Apparently it was a good time to be giving birth.  That meant we didn’t see doctors again for a long time.  They didn’t bring me back to my room until 4:30.  Hyrum went home to sleep, and I was able to sleep for a few hours before they brought me the twins at 6:30, ready to start their first real day of life. 

Getting wheeled back to my room. 

Hospital Stay

I’ve now been in the hospital way longer than anticipated (going on my 4^th day) but I’m hoping to leave sometime today.  Fortunately, my mom arrived on Monday, so she was able to stay home with Tiago during this whole ordeal, and we haven’t had to worry about him.  Unfortunately, Tiago hasn’t really been napping, and hasn’t been in the best mood lately.  It doesn’t help that he probably feels abandoned by his parents.  (Although really, when Grandma’s around to make cherry scones and chocolate chip cookies, what does that kid have to complain about?!)

They came for a visit on Wednesday and Thursday, and Tiago wanted nothing to do with the babies.  Or me, for that matter.  During one of the visits, he walked in, looked at me, then walked back out waving his hand goodbye.  Funny kid.  He had a split second of being cute with one of his sisters, then pushed her away with complete disinterest.  It will sure be an interesting adjustment once we’re all home under one roof.

Family of 5!

After half a second of interest, he shoved that baby right out of Hyrum's arms. 

I think he preferred just playing with their cart, and pretending they weren't there.

Just hanging out.

Hyrum has been able to spend a lot of the time here with us, which is nice. There’s not a lot of entertainment, but it seems like there’s a constant stream of nurses and doctors coming and going.  The babies stay in the room with us except at night when I am able to bring them to the nursery.  The food isn’t bad.  The first day I got a “German breakfast”, which was a roll with meat and cheese, plus coffee. The next day they asked if I wanted an “American breakfast”—which included a donut and cereal.  That wasn’t a tough choice.  Lunch is always huge, plenty of food for two.  And dinner is usually a roll with meat and cheese.  Good thing I like sandwiches.

Overall, I feel a lot better than I did after giving birth the first time.  My lower back is quite sore from the epidural, plus the normal cramping, but I’ve been able to move around and not have any issues.  The initial dizziness went away, probably thanks to some iron supplements they gave me.  My blood pressure still seems a bit low (they take it regularly) but I suppose that’s nothing to complain about. 

It’s been an adventure trying to figure out two babies—holding, feeding, pumping, changing, burping, etc.  They’re tiny, and adorable, and we can’t wait to take them home.  

37 weeks with twins!

I didn't think I'd get this far along in a twin pregnancy, but here I am.  37 weeks plus a little.  No signs of labor.  The babies are still in a good position for a natural delivery, and weigh an estimated 5.5 lbs each.  So we'll see what the next few days bring, and if nothing happens then their birthday will be next Tuesday!

37 weeks + 2 days

A few things to note about pregnancy at this point:

• The movement in my stomach is insane.  There's really no need to put your hand on it to feel anything, you can just watch as the entire shape of my stomach distorts and twists and pushes.  
• My belly button is disgusting -- like stretched as far as it possibly can go, making it completely flat, almost imperceptible.  
• While I acknowledge that I'm huge, I don't stick out in front as much as I expected to.  But top-to-bottom and side-to-side I take up plenty of space!!
• The weight gain has fortunately slowed down.  Probably because there's less room for food so I eat smaller amounts (all the time.)  I think I'm up 42 lb, which is on the high end of normal.  In the last few weeks the weight has started showing in my face.  Lovely.  
• I wake up every night with shoulder/upper back pain.  I think sleeping on my back is one of the things I'm most looking forward to.  
• Hyrum and I both agree... we can't imagine that in just a few days our family size will nearly double.  I can't even picture having newborns around the house again.  It will all be quite a shock when they're finally here, and hopefully we all adjust well.  (Including Tiago, who has no idea what's going on.  He probably just thinks I'm really fat these days.)
• And we're pretty sure we have names decided.  Thank goodness. 

34 & 36 weeks with twins

I forgot to post this 34 week update... so here's what I wrote back then, plus another update at the bottom:

34 weeks

Feb. 5
I had another doctors appointment yesterday.  Baby 1 is slightly smaller--just under 4 lb-- than baby 2 (the more active one), who is closer to 4.5 lb.  It's strange to think about their current size and wonder when they'll actually be born.  The doctor also said the first baby is breach, and the second is sideways.  They've been like that most of my pregnancy, so I have realistic expectations, and know that a c-section is a serious possibility at this point. Like most things in life, it is what it is; we'll make it work if that's what we need to do.

I think I've been having braxton hicks contractions.  This pregnancy is so much different than my first.  With Tiago, I literally didn't feel any contractions or indications of labor until my water broke.  This time around there's way more pressure, irregular contractions, and way less movement (on my part.)   Hopefully things stay the way they are for several more weeks. As uncomfortable as I am, the thought of having twins in the next few days is scary.  So far the doctor says everything looks normal.

The best thing that's happened in the last week, as far as my pregnancy is concerned, is getting a new pair of maternity jeans.  Honestly, I don't know why I've purchased so many maternity shirts.  Even if they were on super sale, I just don't wear them all that much.  But a good pair of jeans is priceless.  The ones I'd been using before just got too tight in the waistband and it was uncomfortable to do anything but stand.  Now I can actually wear normal clothes and feel completely comfortable.  Even if I had the babies next week, that $30 was well spent.   (And let's be real... even if I had the babies next week, I'd probably still get plenty more wear out of these jeans.  I'm gaining plenty of weight.)

Speaking of good purchases, my full body pillow has been a life saver.  I roll over dozens of times during the night, and every time I half-wake-up I'm extremely grateful for my big pillow that helps me get comfortable very quickly.  Hyrum probably doesn't love it, but maybe once I have the babies and he claims it for himself he'll be more sympathetic.

36 weeks... plus a few days.  (We have all our baby stuff set up!)

Here are my 36-week updates:

I've been doing a lot of research about c-sections, and even called my doctor a few weeks ago to schedule mine.  So Feb 27th was going to be THE day, and we've been counting down.  On Friday, the doctor surprised us by telling us that both babies have flipped, and are in the perfect position for a natural delivery.  I think she was as surprised as us.  Who knew that this far into the game there was enough room for the babies to move around that much.  So now it's just a waiting game, unless I need to be induced at 38 weeks.  It's still not too far away.  (We're also keeping in mind that if they flipped once, they could do it again, so I'm not completely out of the woods for having a c-section.)  I'm trying to be flexible with whatever happens, whenever it happens.  Why is that so hard?

Speaking of movement, there's a lot of it going on inside of me.  I feel like there are baby parts poking in literally every direction, and it's quite painful at times.  It usually hits a peak right when I'm trying to go to sleep.

Our house is officially ready.  We switched Tiago into a different room, have the other crib set up for the twins, and figured out our new stroller and carseats.  It has taken a lot of shifting and moving of clothing, furniture and boxes, but we made our apartment work for a family of 5.  Six months ago it was hard to imagine how this would happen; I'm glad it's over.  We're busting at the seams.

Sleeping has lost most of it's pleasure.  I wake up multiple times a night with my shoulders/back killing me.  I can't wait to sleep on my back again!

What else can I complain about?  Just kidding.  Mostly, things have been going well.  I'm glad we've made it past 36 weeks.  Knowing that we're ready, and the babies are developed enough now, brings a lot of comfort.  I no longer panic at the thought of going into labor.  I can deal with a sore body for another 1.5 weeks.  I can deal with going to the bathroom every 20 minutes, and not bending over, and having an excuse to do nothing.

One final note: I'm realizing just how out of shape I am, which is depressing considering where I started.  When I found out I was pregnant I was able to run 8 or 9 miles... and now I can barely walk up my stairs without huffing and puffing.  The changes to my body aren't so much what bothers me (my stretch marks are officially out of control), but knowing how much work it will take to get back to a healthy state is scary.  I hate starting out from nothing; starting to exercise with zero endurance built up is pure misery.  But the good news is that I can postpone that for another 6 weeks at least!

Baby Shower for 2 [Nameless] Baby Girls

Last week my friends threw me a baby shower.  It was awesome for several reasons:

1. A night out without kids?  Sign me up!!
2. It was at a Thai restaurant that I've been wanting to try, and the food was as delicious as I'd hoped.  Hyrum and I need to go back soon.  
3. SO many people came!  I was surprised at how many people wanted to come out and celebrate with us on a week night.  I didn't get pictures of everyone, but there was a lot of love. 
4. Lastly, they gave me some really cute baby girl clothes.  Some matching, some coordinating.  It's amazing how tiny baby clothes are, and holding the little clothes is getting me more excited to have two newborns.  And there were plenty of diapers, which are equally appreciated, but don't get me quite as excited to have two newborns. ha.  There will be plenty of diaper changes going on in our house in the coming months.  

And as a bonus, I got to come home and show all the fun stuff to Hyrum.  When I had a baby shower for Tiago, Hyrum was already in Afghanistan so I tried to show him stuff via Skype (with, undoubtedly, a bad internet connection.)  It's just not the same.  So doing it in person was fun.  When it comes to baby gear, I already have all the essential stuff... it's just blue.  (Bibs, socks, pacifier clips, etc.)  Now I feel more prepared with girly things so people in public won't think I have two baby boys.  Lucky them!

Twin Pregnancy: 30 weeks

Here's a little 30 week update.

Stretch Marks:  Not that I can see, but I know they're there
Belly Button: It's slowly changing from 'flat' to 'out'.  Both look very unnatural.
Cravings: Nothing specific, but I'm back to my old problem of having no 'limit'--meaning, I could eat sugar for 3 meals a day and I don't think it would make me sick
Biggest complaints: heart burn, no laying on back, don't sleep well on side, one baby squishing my lungs and the other sitting on my bladder, most movements really strain the ab muscles I don't have...
Clothing: I avoid leaving the house because it means I have to put on real pants, which are never comfortable.  And I have way more maternity shirts than I'll ever need, because I avoid leaving the house.
Weight gain: a lot... already passed the 25 lb mark last week.  The doctor never makes comments about anything, so I think I'm fine.  Since all serious exercise has been ruled out for months, I'm probably in terrible shape right now.  I guess I'll have to consider that the sacrifice of not stretching my cervix, and worry about the extra fat in a few months.
What i miss most: easily doing day-to-day things that require bending over
Things left to do: set up second crib, finishing clearing out Tiago's future room.  Decide TWO baby names!!

And lastly, people always ask if I feel more kicking with twins than I did with Tiago.  Early on, the answer was no, but now I feel more kicking all over instead of concentrated on a certain side like I felt with a single baby.

During my last ultrasound on Monday the doctor was doing an anatomy check.  She said, "There's baby b's hand, and another hand, and actually, all four hands."  They're really crammed in there.  They weigh about 2.75 lb each.  At the moment, the bottom one is breach and the top one is just sideways.  There's plenty of time for that to all change in the coming weeks, though.  [Coincidentally, they ended up doing a fetal monitoring, and put me in the same delivery room where Tiago was born.  So many unpleasant memories there, plus a few blurry good ones.]

Their two faces

I'm curious whether or not I'll be able to wear my wedding ring the whole pregnancy; it's already getting tight.  I'm curious whether I'll make it to 37 weeks (end of February), or if they'll end up inducing me the first few days of March.  I'm curious whether these babies will be identical.  And whether my epidural will be more helpful this time around.  I'm curious to see how Hyrum handles the labor and new baby process, since it will be his first time.  And if we'll be spending time in the NICU.  And how Tiago will react with two babies around the house.

Life feels generally slow at the moment, but I know soon everything will be shaken up and all the things I'm curious about will start to play out.

Twin Pregnancy: 27 weeks

I have a habit of starting posts, then letting them sit as drafts for months at a time before publishing.  That's happened almost every time I've written about this pregnancy. So I finally finished them, and posted them back where they should be chronologically.

Finding out we were having twins
8-week update
10-week update
25-week update

I'm grateful that I've had a relatively healthy pregnancy.  When I go to my appointments, the only information I get is that "things look normal."  Whatever that means.

That being said, I'm not enjoying pregnancy nearly as much this time around.  Maybe it's because I got big so much quicker, and doing even basic things is starting to feel like a strain.  I think the next 2.5 months will drag on longer than I'd like.

And now for a little comparison.  (Again, less fun to take belly shots this time around, so even though I have a bunch of pictures from the last few months, not many show me from the side.)


I started showing a LOT sooner.  

11 Weeks with twins

Left- 9 or 10 weeks with Tiago, Right- 19 weeks

22 weeks with twins

Almost 22 weeks with twins

26 and 27 weeks pregnant with Tiago

27 weeks with twins... today!  (not the best picture quality... but it's better than nothing.)

Left - 28 weeks pregnant with Tiago; Right- a few days before Tiago was born

Looking at the picture of me today, I guess I don't actually look as huge as I feel.  I feel closer to that 40-week picture above.  And I've still got 2+ months to grow!

Twin Pregnancy: 25 weeks & itchy skin

I'm now 25 weeks along, but it feels more like 8.5 months.

Despite the unwanted symptoms like heartburn, not being able to breath or lay on my back, and not fitting through narrow spaces, I have had a breakthrough!  I diagnosed myself (with the help of Google) with Cholestasis... a problem that occurs in about 1% of pregnancies where the liver doesn't process bile correctly, and it gets in your bloodstream.  That causes CRAZY itching.

Over a month ago my legs started itching every night when I got in bed.  I wondered if it was the laundry detergent, and brushed it off.  Soon it looked like someone had taken a machete to my legs.  It wasn't pretty.  And still isn't.  (I'm the type that would prefer to make a mosquito bite bleed and hurt than let it itch for days.)

I tried lotion, oil, etc.  Nothing helped, and the itching just got worse.  Finally it occurred to me that dry skin or allergies wasn't my problem.  A few minutes searching on Google gave me my answer.  Cholestasis starts at night, and eventually becomes an all-the-time problem.  It's more common in multiple pregnancies, and external lotions don't alleviate the itching because it's internal.  I feel like that's me on all counts.

Unfortunately, when they tested me for it, the nurse just said my results came back negative.  It's times like this when the language barrier is frustrating.  I'd like to know what it is they tested, and what the results showed more specifically.  Stuff I've read online says there are two types of tests, one more accurate than the other, and that a negative test result doesn't mean you don't have Cholestasis.  Patients should continue to be tested as long as symptoms are present.  But my doctor hasn't discussed any of this with me, only Dr. Google.  So we'll see where this road leads...

19 Weeks

In the last 2-3 weeks I've started showing, and in a very noticeable way.  A few people have told me I look small, considering I'm having twins, but I think people equate twins with just being huge, regardless of how far along they are.  There is plenty of time for people to think I'm huge.  

I have the same problem I had last time around:  after surviving my first trimester with virtually no eating, I want to eat everything.  For example, we had ice cream in the freezer for months, and in my head I always thought, "I should want to eat that, but I don't."  So once I wasn't sick, I made myself eat some just based on principle.  But now it's getting out of control and I need to start setting limits for myself.  Grace period: over.  [except for Halloween candy...]

I ordered an expensive double stroller, but everyone says its a great stroller and worth the money so I hope they're right!  Next up: two more car seats and eventually another bed.  Babies aren't cheap.  I suppose that's why God makes them so cute.

This is obviously a second pregnancy, because I have no picture to post.  I need to take one soon though because every day I feel so much bigger.  

A Surprise at the Doctor

Everything in life was going as planned.

I wanted to have kids close together, but with Hyrum deployed, and how long it took to get pregnant the first time around, I was afraid it wouldn't happen.

Imagine my surprise when I ended up in the hospital for debilitating back pain and the nurse came in the room to tell me my blood test came back showing I was pregnant... by about a week.  It was a complete surprise.  [I was in so much pain, though, and the thought of not getting any strong medication must have shown on my face, making the nurse question whether the pregnancy was good news or bad news.  I assured her it was good news, just bad timing to wind up in the hospital.]

While I just wanted medication, they instead sent me on a longer-than-necessary trip to the OB-GYN upstairs.  After a lot of waiting, I had an unnecessary ultrasound.  I'm not sure what they were looking for, and I don't think the doctor did either.  He just said, "Yeah, I can't see anything. It's too early.  You're technically not even pregnant yet--it's a chemical pregnancy--and the chances of miscarriage in the next week are still high.  Take a pregnancy test in a week."

For the next week we were on the edge of being really happy, but not wanting to get our hopes up in case something happened.  Finally the pregnancy was confirmed and I started making mental plans.

On August 8 we headed to the doctor for my first appointment, expecting everything to be routine. It's the same doctor I saw when I was pregnant with Tiago, and the office is actually located in the hospital where I delivered.  To say it all felt familiar would be an understatement.  Unlike the first time I was pregnant, I didn't have a single questions.  Easy appointment.  Easy pregnancy.

Or so I thought, until I had the biggest shock of my life.

The doctor said, "Wow."  I looked at her face instead of the screen and her mouth was wide open.  "There are two babies."  Then I heard her say something about looking for a third which really sent me into panic mode.  With my head spinning, she asked if twins run in our families.  (They don't.)  Then I asked several times for a confirmation that there were only two.  She said yes, she was just kidding about a third.  At the time it didn't seem funny.  And it still doesn't.

The rest of the appointment was a blur.  As was the rest of the day, and the rest of the weekend.  During the 25 minute drive home I tried to think of any other moment in my life where I'd truly been shocked.  I've got nothing.

I'll admit, my initial reaction was fear and anxiety.  I'm a planner and there were all of a sudden a million things I'd never considered that needed to be worked out.  What stroller can accommodate three kids under the age of two?  Where in the world will everyone sleep?  Do we move Tiago to a bed before he's 18 months old?  Should we be buying a van, like we'd always planned on doing when we had three kids?  Is it even possible to go home for Christmas this year like we'd planned?  Will I be missing weddings for multiple siblings?  Will we be able to travel with three babies without going insane?  How in the world would we come up with TWO baby names when figuring out just one was a huge struggle?  Breastfeeding two babies...?  Will I be able to move or do anything when I'm 7 months pregnant?

The list goes on and on.

After a few days of searching for answers on Google, I finally decided I would figure things out later.  Almost all of those questions are still unanswered, and I'm trying to be okay with that.  When I think about twins, I feel overwhelmed but know it will work out one way or another.  Eventually, I think it will be really fun.  It might just take a few months (and sleeping through the night) before I'm really feeling it.

Hyrum, on the other hand, was pretty excited from day 1.  He's never been in a house with a baby under 6 months old, so I think he's just clueless, but I guess ignorance is bliss.  He thinks it's two babies for the price of one and is up for the challenge.

We had our second ultrasound on September 10.  It was one of the craziest things I've ever seen to see both babies so clearly laying side by side, wiggling around next to each other.  It feels so real now, and it was a huge relief to see both babies healthy and moving.  (And the doctor confirmed they have all their arms and legs, which makes them seem less like tadpoles.)

As we've been telling people, I enjoy watching the shock on their faces as they all undoubtedly ask, "Are you kidding me?!  Twins??" I feel validated.  Because Yes!  We're having twins!

And I can hardly believe it either.

Twin Pregnancy: 10 weeks --> skinny jeans and a pencil skirt

I was feeling pretty good.  There were a few days this past week where I cooked dinner, "cleaned" the house, and went for long walks.  Oh yeah, and ate full meals.

Then today that all went out the window.  Back to chicken noodle soup and bread.  (I ran out of chicken nuggests and ramen noodles.)

I think my morning sickness this time around isn't as constant as it was with Tiago, but when it hits, it's much worse.  Fortunately I haven't lost as much weight this time around.  (7 lb, instead of 12)

Speaking of weight, though, this would be a good time to mention two pieces of clothing I've held on to for the last 5 years.  I love both, and they fit like a glove... in 2010.

Just a few months before getting married I finally found a pair of skinny jeans that didn't make me look like a sausage.  And I found a great lined high-waisted pencil skirt.   But marriage happened.  And that awesome 10-lb weight gain happened.  And the skirt and the jeans got put away as a dream, because those kinds of clothes aren't very forgiving.  Sure, I squeezed into the jeans a few times, but probably had to undo the top button.

During my first pregnancy I remember feeling excited that I finally fit back into both!  (There are some perks to not being able to eat, although I'd choose eating over skinny jeans any day!!)

That brings me to just last week.  I honestly don't wear jeans much these days to begin with.  Nothing fit right on my post-partum body, and by the time I'd lost some weight it was getting warm and I always seemed to pull out the same pair of jeans (even though I have an entire drawer of varied sizes.)  I was digging into my drawer remembering what was in there, and came across those not-my-size-anymore skinny jeans.  I put them on for fun, and they fit perfectly.  I love them!  (Sadly, I've never been able to find them in my normal size that fit quite the same.  There's no stretch in them and the fabric is really thick and doesn't show everything.)  Now I want to get as much wear out of them in the next... probably 1.5 weeks that they'll still fit.

And I wore the pencil skirt last week just to say I could, although it was probably 5-lb premature.

THE skirt back in 2010..it's hard to tell how awesome it was/is

Every time I put on either item, I wonder if I'll ever reach a weight in 'normal life' when they fit. just in case.  I've never been one for 'goal' clothing items, but when they do fit, they're just too good to get rid of.
 I've been pretty consistently 10-lb too big for them for the last 4 years.  My body seems to like that size better.  I'm sure I'll keep them in my closet

Twin Pregnancy- week 8

*published after-the-fact*

As soon as the morning sickness kicked in with this pregnancy, around week 5, I could tell it was going to be a very different experience than I'd had with Tiago.  With Tiago, I literally laid on the couch all day barely able to get up, and hardly able to stomach food.  This time around I have no interest in food, but I'm able to force down a lot more.  The nausea comes and goes.

My worst symptoms in the last few weeks have been dizziness and fatigue.  When I first wake up, I have to lay on the couch for at least an hour before I can really function. When I stand up, even if I go slow, my vision starts to black out for a few seconds.  Over the weekend Hyrum cooked a delicious breakfast, and I was starving, but couldn't sit at the table long enough to even peel my egg before I had to lay down.  

The revelation that I was carrying twins helped explain some of this, I think.  The doctor said my pregnancy hormones are higher than with a single-baby pregnancy, and there's more blood circulating to the babies which I think leaves me dizzy.  

After my back was feeling a little better, I tried to keep running to see if I could build back some of my endurance.  On the rare nights that I'd been able to eat a decent meal and wasn't feeling nauseous I'd take off around town.  I've been able to do up to 4 miles a few times, but in the last week haven't been eating enough to fuel a good run.  

My staple food lately has been ramen noodles.  I eat bread when I first get up, and around 9:30 or 10, I'm starving.  Ramen is the only thing that sounds good, so it's a good thing it only costs $.22!  Like last pregnancy, lightly salted popcorn has been on heavy rotation, although it gets very boring very quickly.  Cooking meat is out of the question, so I finally gave in and bought frozen chicken nuggets so I could increase my protein intake.  I've found if I don't have to think about what I'm going to eat, or spend much time preparing it, it's a lot more likely I'll be able to stomach it.

No Photo

Some habits die hard. 

Yogurt and a Baby Shower

At the end of August, a couple of ladies in my ward threw me a baby shower.  It was nice to get out of the house and socialize, especially considering many of our husbands had just deployed.  Everyone brought some type of "brunch" food, and it was amazing!  We all commented, "Let's do this every week!"  

Someone brought a couple of types of German Yogurt, which was delicious.  I like it even better than Greek yogurt.  So while my mom was here we tried a few different flavors from the German grocery store.  Lemon is so good!  It will be hard to part with the yogurt when we leave here. 

And of course I got some really cute things for Santiago!  Plus helpful things that I hadn't gotten around to buying, or hadn't even thought of buying.  It's fun getting Santiago dressed in the morning and thinking about who gave him that day's outfit.  So much love for that little boy!

It's weird to be posting pictures of myself pregnant.  It seems like so long ago!