Hyrum's Homecoming from Afghanistan

When Hyrum deployed, we knew he'd be coming home early, because we were scheduled to move in June.  The plan was -- vaguely-- to return at the end of May.

And unfortunately it took him 8 full days to get from Camp Dwyer in Afghanistan to Colorado Springs!! 

The flights from Kandahar to Kuwait were full for several days (he was basically flying 'stand-by') so eventually they created a flight to Qatar, where he waited several more days to fly through Germany and back to the states. 

I don't recall crying at all during this deployment, but when I was planning on him coming home mid-day on a Wednesday, and then he couldn't get out of Afghanistan to make that connecting flight, I cried.  When you have no expectations, it's hard to be disappointed.  But once you start making actual plans it's a big let-down!

So then he was supposed to get home Friday evening, and then a flight was delayed 30 hours so he was supposed to get home at midnight.  And then another flight was delayed (theme?) and he almost missed that last flight to Colorado. 

Fortunately, he eventually arrived.  I told the kids in advance that I was going to wake them up in the middle of the night.  (Hyrum didn't like my suggestion to take an Uber....)  I was really nervous to see how'd they react, but once they woke up (around the time they were being buckled into their carseats) they were completely coherent.  They were also so excited.  Tiago couldn't believe what the city looked like in the dark.  They all wore their pajamas into the airport and waited excitedly for Hyrum to walk through the door. 

Smiles all around.

We hauled all those heavy bags out to the van, went home, and threw the kids back in bed!

Every day for the first week the girls would ask me first thing in the morning, "Where is Papa?"  I think they were worried he was going somewhere again.

The adjustment was pretty normal, which I attribute to him only being gone a few months with no major life events.  The biggest adjustment has been parenting, and trying to get on the same page.  That could have something to do with two 3-yr-olds.  Three is hard!  And Hyrum has never really been around 3-yr-olds.  (He was deployed for 7 months of when Tiago was that age.)

We are so so so excited that Hyrum's next position is non-deploying.  He should be home for at least a few years.

Re-deployment

About a week and a half ago Hyrum called.  We talked for a few minutes, and then--out of the blue-- he said, "Worst case scenarios is I come home July 15.  Best case scenario is I come home July 6."

Uhm what? Excuse me??

The Army likes to keep us on our toes, that's for sure.  He originally was supposed to stay until October, but apparently they were sending someone (soon!) to fill his position and would send him to a different unit.  (That's pretty normal in the Army to move every 12-18 months, I just didn't expect it to happen in the middle of a deployment.)  

So that's happening.  And I'm still not sure what to think about it.  It's like starting to run a marathon, and then hearing at mile 12 that it's really a half marathon and you're almost done.  All of a sudden that last mile becomes way more difficult than it would have been otherwise.  And you probably would have run the first 12 miles differently if you knew that was it. 

Of course we're excited to have Hyrum back.  I'm most excited for the kids, and don't think they really realize what it means that "Papa is coming home in a week."  He will be able to spend time with them over the summer and go to the pool, be there for Tiago's first day of school and birthday, and hear how well the girls are talking.  

But my regrets are that I didn't get all the 'stuff' done that I wanted.  They're all fairly insignificant things (organize the house, get doctor/dentist appointments taken care of, make some photo books, take stuff to the thrift store) but it's these insignificant things that I wish I could have just crossed off the list already.  And I regret gaining back some weight in Utah that I'd previously lost.  I thought I had 3 more months to keep working on it!!  Fortunately, this is all stuff that doesn't matter.  Hyrum can home home to a house that still has some dirty closets.  (One closet that needs some TLC hasn't even been opened in the last 6 months!)

We found out a few days ago that Hyrum will be moving to Division, which will be a completely different position from what he's been doing the last 5 years.  It's exactly what he hoped to do next, we just didn't think 'next' would be so soon.  

I should know by now that whatever plan we have can just be tossed out the window.  And slowly, I'm learning to be a little more flexible.  (Like the fact that it's less than a week away and I'm not sure when/where/under-what-circumstances we'll be meeting him...)

random photo from their deployment

Hyrum in Poland

Hyrum has been in Poland for a little over 3 weeks, so I thought I'd post an update of what they're doing.

Back in the fall, most of the division's equipment was loaded on trains to eventually make its way to Poland.  The first group of soldiers that left for this deployment went to Bremerhaven port in Germany to unload the nearly 3000 pieces of equipment (vehicles and containers) and get them to various parts of Poland by rail.

Most of these pictures are from the 4-10 Cav facebook page, where they post periodic updates.  One update explained the goal of their mission:  to enhance deterrence capabilities in the region, improve the U.S. ability to respond to potential crises and defend allies and partners in the European community.

Here is the equipment arriving in Poland.

Looks cold, huh?  Hyrum said they freeze every time they exercise outside.  But I think because they're in real buildings there's less suffering from the elements than existed in his Afghanistan deployment.  (They were in tent structures, with less reliable heating.)

While it might be warmer inside, the quarters are more cramped.  Hyrum is sharing a pretty small room with one other guy, and there's enough floor space to get from the door to their beds.  The rest is covered in Army gear.

This is where they're staying... it's the headquarters for the Polish 10th Armored Cavalry Regiment in Swietoszow, Poland.  Still not sure how to pronounce the town's name, and Hyrum isn't much help in that department.

On the weekends they do get some down time, although they're also working.  They're allowed to leave the base with permission, and often go to the nearest 'big city', Boleslewiec.  That's the place we went Polish pottery shopping back in 2014.  It's less than 30 minutes from their current base.  There are a few advantages to being stationed in Poland.  First, the cost of living is really low, so they're able to get a nice restaurant meal for about $5.  (And $4 haircuts!  Important for soldiers that cut their hair every 2-3 weeks.)  And second, the food is really good.  Every time Hyrum talks about buying pirogis my mouth waters.

On Sundays they have an LDS group that meets together.  Within a 30 mile radius there are a couple of other bases with US Soldiers, which translates to a handful of people meeting together for church.  Hyrum helps coordinate the meetings, and they've usually had 4-5 in attendance.  He said they'll be a ward soon. ha   [The closest LDS branch is in Wroclaw, which is 1.5 hrs away.... too far for them to attend.]

The soldiers have been busy getting equipment ready, working with the Polish Army, doing gunnery trainings, and getting all their systems in place.  I'm sure there's more to it, but that's the extent of what I understand.

They eat in a cafeteria with the Polish soldiers, so it's all very Polish food.  Hyrum said there's actually not much variety, but it's good food.  A lot of rice, potatoes, meat, etc.  And not much fruit.  I think Hyrum would really love a huge American breakfast occasionally, but he'll survive without.  They have internet that works moderately well, and he's still able to text with his phone.  So all in all, communication has been great and it's just the 8-hour time difference that requires some planning.

One of these days I'll have to get Hyrum on here to give his own update.  I'm sure it would be 1000 times more informative.

Life Lately - the good and the bad

Hyrum has been gone 2.5 weeks.  And I'm doing fine.

Hands down, the hardest part is church.  (My body had a physical reaction just typing that!).  Yesterday was particularly bad.  The 4 of us got squeezed onto 3 chairs and I was feeling claustrophobic the whole time, and on top of that I was in and out with the kids 3 times.  It should have been four, but when Siena started throwing a fit during the last talk that was already going over time, I figured it might send a signal to the speaker.  Then, Tiago refused to go to primary, but then wouldn't sit still in Sunday School with me, so we were back and forth between the two and I almost lost my mind.  Multiple people in the hallway asked if they could help me with something.  I probably had my eyes bulging out of my head or something.  Finally I had an hour of quiet time in Relief Society before the circus continued.

I feel really fortunate that one of the senior missionaries sits with us during Sacrament meeting.  Honestly, it's the biggest help.  She tries to entertain at least one of them for most of the meeting.

Another really huge blessing happened this past week.  I saw a random line in our neighborhood newsletter about a snow removal program for people with deployed spouses.  This was before the hurricane-wind-destruction, so the housing office was slammed for a few weeks, but I finally inquired about it on Friday and was signed up by the end of the day.  Basically, for on-post housing, they'll come shovel any snow that exceeds 1.5".  Me and my lower back pain are so so so so happy.  All of a sudden any tinge of regret about living on-post disappeared.

I also did my taxes, and am dreaming of the vacations I can take with our return.  Most of last year we were paying high taxes because Hyrum had only claimed 1 credit with payroll, and it hadn't been updated in years.  Towards the end of the year I discovered how to change it on my own, so hopefully this year we don't lend Uncle Sam quite so much money.  And as an added bonus, I hopefully won't feel so tight on money month-to-month, only to get an entire month's paycheck back as a tax return.

Hyrum's 2nd Deployment to Poland

Deployment #2 is one week underway.  So far, so good.

But to back up a bit.... the weeks leading up to Hyrum leaving were filled with a lot of family time.  During the holidays Hyrum had two 4-day weekends in a row, and on regular work days, they weren't required to go early for PT (exercise).  That meant he was around when the kids woke up, which is always a nice treat.  Mixed in with all the family time was all the packing!  Our guest room was taken over by camouflage, and it took Hyrum a few weeks to get everything in the right bags.  Not to mention the night before he left staying up till 3 am.  Some things don't change.  I need to learn to embrace it.  (But it's so hard!  So many people are self-proclaimed procrastinators; I am just not one of them.)

On Friday morning we took a quick family picture.  Then we dropped Hyrum off at work on our way to the gym, and said our 9- (10?) month goodbyes.  They were flying out to Poland later in the afternoon.  [Except of course he forgot something at home, so we actually swung by the office again later in the day.... and said goodbye again.]  Unlike last deployment, where I cried all the way home at 4 in the morning, this was way less emotional.  Maybe because I was less tired.  But I also have a clearer picture of how things will all work out, and I know we'll be fine.

But these kids are sure going to miss having the 'fun parent' around.

 We were excited to find great cell service in Poland!  Hyrum can send/receive text messages and connect easily to Skype, so despite the 8 hour time difference, communication will be a piece of cake.  What a blessing!

Hyrum said that when they flew into the airport in Wroclaw, there was a ton of press there to greet them.  Because he was traveling in his Stetson hat, a lot of parents wanted to take pictures of their kids with his hat on.  Imagine the difference between flying into Poland with such a warm reception and flying into Baghdad or Kandahar wondering who might be shooting at you.

So more information about his deployment, part of Atlantic Resolve, from ArmyTimes:  The Army has increased its presence in Europe – sending soldiers and equipment – in an effort to reassure its allies in the region and deter against an aggressive Russia. This is the first time, however, that it is dedicating an entire armored BCT to the region for nine months at a time.

They'll be moving around a bit in Eastern Europe, but the first third of the deployment will be spent in Poland.

We visited Poland in 2014 with Tiago in tow.  We stopped in Boleslawiec, where they sell Polish pottery.  Then we visited Krakow and saw Auschwitz before driving back home.  Coincidentally, Hyrum won't be far from Boleslawiec, but I'm sure his experiences there this time around will be very different.



I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks of Poland, and just envisions a big country in Eastern Europe.... nothing else.  So I did a little research to find out more about Poland.

Famous Poles:
Marie Curie
Nicolas Capernicus
Pope John Paul II
Fryderyk Chopin

History
Poland has been around forever (it was an independent country over a milenia ago!) but in modern history has lacked independence.  In the 1700's it was taken over by Slovakia, Russia and Prussia and did not become an independent state again until after WWI.  That was short-lived; after WWII the Soviet Union instituted a communist government.  Poland finally re-gained it's Independence in 1990.

Germany's invasion of Poland in 1939 is what started WWII.  During the war, 90% of the Jewish population was killed (almost 3 million) and nearly 3 million ethnic Poles were killed.  Between the extermination of the Jews and the re-aligned boundaries, Poland went from being a diverse country to one of the most ethnically homogeneous in the world-- 96% consider themselves Poles.

Popular food includes pierogis, sausage, cabbage.  (The few meals we had there in 2014 were delicious!  Hyrum will be eating meals in the same military cafeteria as the locals, so maybe he'll have sauerkraut for breakfast... ha)

Poland is a very flat country, geographically.

There aren't many young people, and birth rates are crazy low.

Polish is a slavik language.

It's one of the most religious countries in Europe.  85% of population is Roman Catholic. Pope John Paul II (Polish) was the first non-Italian Pope in 450 years.

Making the mission even more important, Poland actually shares a northern border with Russia, through their geographically independent province Kaliningrad.  (A month ago I would have been clueless that there was a piece of Russia floating by itself over there on the Baltic sea.)  It will be an interesting mission, since they're they're training with allies.  There's way less concern this time around on my end about his safety, although stuff happens everywhere.  I'm hoping it will be less stressful for Hyrum as well.

Good luck, 3rd brigade!

Hyrum is home from Afghanistan!

Hyrum is home!  We are so excited to have him back.

The welcome home ceremony was on Friday, April 11th.  We showed up to the gym 30 minutes early (because it's better to be early than to risking being late), and we waited... and waited... and waited.  Tiago did pretty well... and was oblivious to how much his life was about to change.  He was very entertained by his dog-tags and miniature flag.

About 30 minutes after the scheduled arrival, they made an announcement to clear the floor.  All the extra waiting made me more anxious than I think I normally would have been.  [Although I think the soldiers were more anxious than their families.  Hyrum said it was a long miserable flight back that dragged on, plus the bus ride from the airport.]

We all stood up on the bleachers. 

They started playing music.  

The doors opened.  

Smoke blew across the floor.

And the squadron commander led the troops in with a background of cheers and applause.

[That's Hyrum right in the front middle, looking at us].

They stood in formation while they played the National Anthem, said a prayer, heard a few words from the Regimental Commander...then they were released to their families!

Ruuuuuuuun to your soldier!!  Hyrum was only about 15 feet away, so we actually didn't have far to go.  

Tiago has no problem with strangers (as long as they give him attention) so he was happy to be held by Hyrum.  He was mostly just checking Hyrum out, and would occasionally turn around to make sure I was still there.  No smiling, though.  All business.

It was about 45 minutes past Tiago's nap time, and I think he was getting hungry, so it didn't take long before he was fussy.  He would smile as long as he was being entertained, but then got very serious and cried.

 These next two pictures (mostly the first) are probably my favorite shots of the whole day.  Neither Hyrum nor I are good at hiding our emotions, and I guess Santiago is following suit.  His face says it all... and more!!  Nothing says Welcome Home! like a big scowl.  And for the record, he's not wearing shorts, his pants were just riding up.

First family photo!!

Another look at that face!  

[Hyrum said that Tiago was just so happy that he couldn't contain his emotions.]

It was fun to watch Hyrum for the first few hours figure out how to interact with a baby.  He was awkwardly carrying the baby around, trying to look like the baby wasn't slipping out of his arms.  I said, "Just rest him on your hip" and he said, "I don't have any hips!"  Tiago's wiggling, and swinging fists, didn't make it easy on him, but he figured it out pretty quick and after a few days was a pro.

After a little family bonding, we went over to the parking lot to collect Hyrum's bags, then headed home.  Hyrum has learned many new things, like how to use a car seat and stroller, how to change a diaper, and what a nap schedule is.  For him, that day was like the day Santiago was born--everything was new, and it was his first time to hold his son.  He loved it.

When we eventually made it home, Tiago quickly fell asleep, we ate delicious food, and Hyrum got to be the one to go get a very happy baby after his nap, then feed him.  He was content to sit and enjoy his Papá... and they've been playing ever since.

Deployment: That's a wrap!

I just got the phone call letting me know what time tomorrow Hyrum is coming home!

I had a rough idea, but now it feels so much more official.  Months ago they told us what the process would be like: up to a week before he'd be able to let me know his return date, and the day before arrival I'd get a phone call from a soldier here confirming the homecoming time/place.  [They take a bus from the airport and then do the reunions on-post.]  Until the call, things are still up in the air.  [A few weeks ago, several of the flights were pushed back within 24 hours of their scheduled homecoming.  What a disappointment!]

Yesterday I finished making Tiago's 'welcome home' outfit, so I put it on him to make sure it fit.  Who wouldn't want to meet their son with him looking this cute????  As hard as I might try to look cute, I'm planning on taking a back seat in tomorrow's reunion... or in their case, first-time meeting!  What an exciting moment!  I know Hyrum has been looking forward to it for Tiago's whole life.

I've been trying to stay busy the last few days, which hasn't been hard with all the cleaning around here...  I made cupcakes and several meals, washed the sheets and towels, dusted all surfaces, and even purged a good chunk of my wardrobe so the house would feel a little less packed.  And now everything is ready.  But really, Hyrum said the only thing he cares about is that Tiago and I are there to meet him when he gets here.  Anything else will just be a bonus.  

Speaking of getting things ready, I was looking over my "deployment goals" list, and it's now as complete as it will be.  Along the way, I abandoned some goals, but here's how I stand:

-finish Hyrums "life" scrapbook - DONE
-create an album of our wedding pictures - DONE
-get back to pre-baby weight - DONE - happened yesterday!
-Read Book of Mormon- DONE
-Read Doctrine & Covenants - DONE (happened yesterday, too!)
-Write weekly letters- didn't happen.  But I did send packages at least once a month...
-Study the Old Testament- didn't happen.  I stopped somewhere in the middle of Exodus.

5/7 isn't bad.  It was helpful to have things to work on to keep me distracted, and focus on all of the good things around me instead of on my husband being gone.

I've been thinking about the different stages that I've gone through during his 8-month deployment.

• First, it was pretty emotional and always-present.  Not emotional like I cried all the time--in fact, I think I only cried two or three times total, and one of those times was after dropping him off.  [And another time was probably when I was frustrated with a bad Skype connection!]  But emotional like I felt his absence.  The first time I did laundry I thought, "Wow, I'm only doing laundry for 1 now."  Same for grocery shopping, or cleaning up just my clothes on the floor.  There was no one to talk to at the end of the day.  No differentiation between a work day and the weekend.  It all felt different.  Plus, there were several other wives in my ward going through the same thing, so we could get together and talk about it.  

• [I had a baby.  That involves too much to even go into further detail.]

• Then I got into a groove and felt like I had good momentum.  I was staying busy.  I went to Utah for a few months and time flew by.  Surely once I reached the half-way mark everything would be down hill. 

• But... around the halfway mark it seems like everyone else's husbands came home.  [Really, it wasn't all of them, but a lot of them did come home early.]  Deployment was old news.  And I was just ready for it to be done.  It was close to being over, in the sense that a few months aren't all that long.  Except they are.  With so many soldiers coming home early, that was my most-asked question.  When does your husband come home?   

• At that point I think I took a lot of the emotion out of it.  Possibility of coming home early?  Fine.  No internet connection?  Fine.  Deployment dragging on even longer?  Fine.  Anything would have been fine.  Unfortunately, I think I do emotion-less really well.  And I was hoping that some semblance of excitement would return when the end really was in sight.    

•  Luckily, it did.  About a week ago.  Once it was real enough that I could pick out clothes, clean my house, grocery shop for two and load minutes onto Hyrum's prepaid cell phone, I let myself get excited.  

And he comes home tomorrow!

I'm glad this experience is behind me.  I'm not naive enough to think it will be the last deployment we go through, but hopefully it will be the last for a long time.  As I suspected beforehand, it was okay.  I do okay by  myself, so that was never a huge challenge.  There were, however, a few difficult things.

First, Santiago was born while Hyrum was gone.  I wouldn't say it was that hard for me (my mom came for a month!) but it was hard for Hyrum to not have that experience with his first child.  He's a father, and he's never held his son!  He never got to see the cute newborn clothes that actually fit such a tiny baby.

Second, it's inevitable that when you don't share very many aspects of your lives, your relationship is affected.  This this article that I read last month really explains the problem perfectly.  A quick phone call (with a bad internet connection) makes it difficult to get past the day-to-day stuff, and talk about more meaningful things like "dreams, passions, beliefs and goals".  Hyrum and I set certain goals (individually and together) at the start of the deployment that have helped to maintain a strong marriage and stay on the same page, but it's just not the same as living life side by side for those 8 months.

And third, there's always that "what if" question in the back of your mind, no matter how much positive thinking you employ.  It's almost guaranteed that not all soldiers will be coming home, and that's a scary thing to face.  For future deployments, I know that I can handle things on the home front, but I have no assurance of what awaits my husband while at war.  So I'm glad it's over for now, and I can worry a little less.

It will be interesting to see the re-integration process, as Hyrum gets acquainted with changing diapers and the sleep patterns of a baby.  He has made so many funny comments over the last few months that made me think, Oh, just wait... you'll understand once you're home.  (Like, "If babies are tired, don't they just fall asleep?"  Or when the baby was crying in his crib, "Go take a minute to put him to sleep and then come back.")  I will no longer be the one calling all the shots, which is hard for me!  Hopefully I can loosen up, quickly.  I will no longer go for days at a time only having one-sided conversations with a baby.  I won't be sitting around at night writing blog posts, because I'll actually have a husband to talk to.  I will no longer have to use Skype every day with a bad internet connection.  I will have to start putting more effort into my dress and appearance, but that's a small sacrifice to have to make.

I can't wait to see it all unfold-- to watch Hyrum meet his baby and have our family complete.

Hooah!

Life lately in pictures

Pretty much everything revolves around this cute guy.  He is getting more and more smiley every day.  Good thing he's cute, cause he's a lot of work!

Here we are after church one Sunday, when we were still 'dressed up' -- a big improvement from what we normally look like.  Normal might include sweatpants, one-sock-on-one-sock-off, or no pants (the baby, not me.)

Today was one of those days that I told myself it has to get worse before it can get better.  My house is a disaster!  Piles of clothes (and... more clothes, yep, mostly just clothes) everywhere!  If only I had 2 or 3 huge closets!  I never feel like there's quite enough space.  I'm trying to get things organized before Hyrum gets home in a few weeks.  Hopefully once the baby is asleep tonight the mess will become more orderly.  

With the end of the deployment closing in, there are almost daily homecomings. [!!] I went to one yesterday to take a few pictures for a friend.  Even though they all take place in a big dark gym, they do a good job making them dramatic: loud music, fog machine, the doors fly open and the soldiers march in.  Now if only it were my soldier...  

While I try to do things around the house, it's nice to have Santiago self-contained -- in this seat, or the high chair, or his bouncer. He finds random 'toys' to play with, like our whisk.  (His personal favorite is fingernail clippers.)

Once, I had him playing in his bouncer for quite a while before I saw that his foot was caught... whoops!  I guess if it really bothered him, he would have cried.  

Since I wore this sweater last Sunday, and knew I had a picture taken in it last Thanksgiving, I decided to take a picture to mark my weight loss progress.  With some healthy eating and exercising, I've lost quite a bit of weight over the last 2 months.  I'm still a few pounds away from the pre-baby weight, but I'll take it!  I'm actually happy enough where I am that my motivation to keep eating mostly vegetables is waning.  I fit into most of my clothes, and it feels great to be "normal" again.  [I'm still technically 'overweight... but at least I'm no longer obese!  There's a silver lining to everything.]

 The weather here has been beautiful!  Last week I saw the farmer in the field in front of our house throwing down seed by hand.  I'm not sure if his tractor was broken, or he just found it therapeutic.  But it was kind of a funny sight.

I've taken advantage of the weather to go on a lot of long walks with the baby.  Once... that walk included the bakery in town.  I ordered a pretzel, and the lady asked me something I didn't quite understand.  So I smiled and said yes. She brought back a pretzel with butter and cheese in the middle-- YUM.  It was delicious.  I need to stay away!

The grocery store has started selling its cheap tulips again-- and they lasted for over a week.  I also saw some red bananas (from Colombia!) so I decided to support the Colombian economy and buy some.  They tasted like normal bananas, though.  I was expecting something more life-changing.  

Lastly, Tiago had his 6-month check-up... and hasn't gained much weight since his 4-month appointment.  It's a little frustrating, because he won't let me feed him a bottle and he refuses to eat baby food.  He gets so distracted with stuff around him that he won't sit still to eat for very long.  Hopefully he gains more before we go back in a month or I'll probably get chastised by the doctor. It's not enough that they're still alive and happy... they have to grow too??