Two weeks at home with two new babies

We've been home from the hospital for two weeks.  We've been busy entertaining a toddler, eating good food, and holding two little babies.  (They're still tiny, even if they have put on a little more weight.  Someone at the park commented that it looked like I was just holding a blanket in my arms.)  Before this stage of life passes completely, here are some thoughts about these newborns:

Identical?
Not sure.  Initially they seemed to look alike, but the more time we spent with them, the more we noticed little differences.  For example, Mila's head was a lot smaller and rounder, while Siena had a longer forehead.  Also, for a few days Mila had goop in her left eye, which made it easier to tell them apart.  As they both put on weight though, it's getting a little harder to tell them apart, or at least requires a double take sometimes.  There's nothing like getting done feeding a baby and rocking them, then realizing it's not who you thought it was.  If they continue to look alike as they grow, we'll end up having them tested (DNA) to confirm if they're identical or fraternal.

Mila/Siena

Mila/Siena... or Siena/Mila... not sure.

Personalities
After spending a few weeks with them, I'd say Mila is a little more cuddly and also gets concerned more easily.  She spends a lot of time with furrowed eyebrows and her forehead all wrinkled up.  It takes some effort for her to completely relax (and it usually happens when she's curled up on someone.)  Siena started out sleeping a little better (just like her first several hours after birth), but she kept me up for a long time last night so I won't give her that title of 'best sleeper' any more.  They're both much more calm than Tiago ever was and don't cry as much.  Thank goodness.  I'm sure as they get older I'll start noticing more differences in their individual personalities, but for now I feel like a lot of things change day-to-day and I end up feeling like they're slightly interchangeable.  (Around here you hear things like, "Bring me whichever baby that is", "This one was just changed", "One of them is crying.", etc)

Siena

Mila

Tiago and the babies
The first day we brought the girls home, Tiago almost seemed offended.  He wouldn't go near them.  Then he woke up the next day, and I think the reality started sinking in: those girls are still here.  Gradually, he's at least acknowledging their presence.  Once or twice he's rubbed their heads.  He brings pacifiers to them.  But beyond that, he's not interested.  If I try to help him hold one, he still will push her away.

The most interesting thing about his behavior the last two weeks is how affectionate he has become with the rest of us.  He loves to sit in my lap, be held, and have more one-on-one time.  I think he sees us spend so much time with his sisters that he wants his fair share.  For a kid that's never been very affectionate, it's kind of nice!

He's back to his sweet normal self, but last week he had a few days of complete terror, to include throwing his body around on the ground, throwing anything in sight onto the ground, and not eating.  I think he had some teeth bothering him, and he had a slight fever for a day or two.  Maybe all of his emotions took a physical toll??

When Tiago was sick, he fell asleep on my lap (second time that's happened... ever). We took advantage and had him hold his sister (Mila, I think).

Life has been fun: baking with Grandma (including eating as he went) and dancing with Dad

How do they sleep?
The first 3 or 4 days the girls were home from the hospital they slept pretty much non-stop all day.  The whole twin gig seemed like a piece of cake because there was nothing to do except change their diapers and feed them.  [The exception was the first night--they woke up every hour or two for most of the night.  On night #2 we started swaddling them, which seems to have made a big difference, and they're sleeping better at night.]  Now they spend a lot of time awake during the days, which is surprising to me considering their age.  They both like to be held and will fall asleep laying on you, but often as soon as you put them down they'll start to be restless.  Their 'witching' hour is usually in the late evening.  And if both of them start crying at the same time... good luck.  Fortunately, we have several hands around to hold babies.  But I'm getting nervous for next month...

Sleeping arrangements
We have them both in the same crib for now--Mila sleeps on the left and Siena is on the right.  It eliminates the need to think in the middle of the night.  Because they're so small we're waking them up every 3 hrs during the night to eat.  Can't wait for them to grow a bit!  During the day we put them a lot in these little baby rocker things.  They're definitely one of the best purchases I made in the last few months.    We can move them back and forth between the nursery and family room, and they keep the babies off the floor and safe from Tiago's reach.

Eating
I feel like one of the best decisions I've made so far is to feed them with bottles.  I had a very positive experience breastfeeding Tiago for almost his first year, but circumstances this time around are very different.  Even if I'd given Tiago bottles, there was no one around to split the feedings with.  With the girls, I have me, my mom, and Hyrum to cover feedings.  (At least for the next few weeks.)  Also, I think it takes less time to pump and feed both girls than it would if I were breastfeeding.  That frees up time to play with Tiago instead of being chained to the couch all day feeding babies.  They eat every 3 hours and I like knowing exactly how much they're eating instead of the guesswork that comes along with breastfeeding.  Eventually I'm sure I'll transition to formula, but for now this is working.  Because I'm getting more sleep, I feel less dazed and brain-dead than with my first baby.  And I love having a working brain so I feel good about my decision, even if it means a lot of bottle washing.

Day-to-day
Hyrum was able to stay home on paternity leave until last Thursday, which was great.  It gave us time to spend together as a family, and even better, it gave Tiago and Hyrum a lot of time to play together, which makes them both happy.  My mom has been a huge help with rocking babies, cooking (and baking!) and washing bottles (among other things.)  I have a descent amount of flexibility with getting out of the house, because whoever stays home to watch the kids can feed them bottles.  A few days ago we all took a day trip to the Nuremberg Zoo on the train, which was quite an adventure.  The girls have been out to the park (because poor Tiago hates being stuck at home all day) and to church.  All of these activities have been relatively smooth because there have been three adults around.  Next month Hyrum will be gone and my mom goes home, so getting three little ones out to the car to go anywhere will become much more of a challenge.  So for now, I'm enjoying my mobility and the chance to just run to the grocery store or pick up mail.  I'm afraid things are going to get a little worse before they get better.

Siena (L) didn't enjoy her first bath nearly as much as Mila (R).  I usually make my mom bathe the babies because she's better at it.  

Fish and manatees at the zoo

Mila and Siena's birth story

(L) Siena, born 1:41 am, March 4, weighing 5 lb 10 oz
(R) Mila, born 1:38 am, March 4, weighing 5 lb 2 oz
Amberg, Germany

 Nothing about the twins birth played out like I had expected.  I’m glad it’s over, and I almost don’t want to re-live it by typing it up.  But for memory’s sake, here goes…

Checking in for an induction, and hanging out at the hospital

We got to the hospital at 8 am on Tuesday for a scheduled induction, since 37 weeks is full-term for twins.  The first glitch was when they (wrongly) told me I was supposed to come in on Wednesday, not Tuesday.  But I was already there, and ready to have some babies, so I made them keep me. 

After getting checked in, checked out, and monitored, the doctor said my cervix was completely closed, but the babies were in the right position still.  By 10 am, they started giving me prostaglandin pills orally every 2-ish hours to ripen the cervix.  They weren’t going to do anything about contractions (oxytocin) until I was dilated to at least 3 cm.  That was discouraging, because I wasn’t progressing at all.  So we spent the whole day hanging out in my ‘recovery room’ and being strapped to the monitoring machine for an hour at a time.  At 4:30 I’d taken my 3^rd pill, and when they checked me (super painful!) I was still completely closed. 

This is how we spent most of the day.  Boring!

At that point I was frustrated.  I hadn’t seen a doctor in several hours.  Many of the nurses didn’t speak English so my questions were going unanswered. Basically, I wanted to know what the game plan was. 

After the first pill I started having mild contractions, which were getting more intense as the day went on.  But for all the pain I was having (including back labor), nothing was changing.  I was just being told, “Come back in 2 hrs”, which could continue all day, night, day, night, etc. 

They sensed my frustration, and a doctor eventually came in to talk to me.  But instead of listening to my concerns, he just kept telling me to be patient, and that this would be a better path than just getting a c-section.  (Obviously.)  This was the 4^th doctor I’d seen that day.  He said it had only been a few hours (9!?) and that this was the best situation possible.  I should try to get some sleep that night, and they’d re-evaluate in the morning. (The lady I was sharing a room with was in the hospital for 4 days trying to be induced, before ending up with a C-section.  I did not want that to happen.)

“Bedtime”

At 6:30 I had my fourth pill, and then told Hyrum he might as well go home.  With shared rooms in the hospitals here, spouses can’t stay overnight anyway.  I’d call him if anything happened.

At 8pm I was monitored again, but not given a pill. I asked for pain medication so I could sleep better, but like normal, but medicine they put in my IV didn’t do anything.  I laid in bed for several hours before going back to request something stronger.  Another hour of monitoring later, they gave me something that made me very dizzy, and pretty tired.  (Cervix was still completely closed.)  I got very close to sleeping, and was startled by some seriously painful contractions.  I thought I’d try going to the bathroom to see if it helped, but to my surprise, my water broke.  That was at midnight.  (So much for any sleep!)

0 to 10 in about 60 minutes (ie: worst hour of my life)

It took me a solid 15 minutes to walk down the hallway to labor and delivery.  They hooked me up to the monitors again, and the contractions were awful.  (It was actually the same delivery room where I had Tiago.)  I was crying pretty uncontrollably, and shaking, and had moments of hardly being able to breath.  I don’t think the sleep deprivation helped at all. The midwife was checked my cervix again: I was at 4 cm. A doctor came in and asked if I wanted an epidural.  Yes! ASAP!  Everything was going so quickly and I felt awful and was in so much pain.  I called Hyrum and told him to hurry back to the hospital, afraid he’d miss something.  (We live 25 minutes away.)  He made it in record time, right as the epidural was going in around 12:50 am.  A little after 1 I was checked again, and was dilated to a 9, and almost immediately I started feeling intense pressure in my pelvic area. 

I kept hoping my epidural would kick in before the actual delivery happened. I could feel my upper body get itchy, and the contractions weren’t quite as painful (based on the fact that I’d stopped crying at that point), but nothing was numb and I was in a lot of pain.

It’s not over ‘til they’re out

I asked if I could push when I felt the pressure, and the midwife said yes.  No one communicated much about where the babies were, or what to expect, so I was just pushing blindly hoping the misery would be over soon.  I don’t even think there was a doctor around yet, but they eventually came in.  While I don’t think I made any vocal noises when Tiago was born—just a lot of deep breathing—I was screaming my head off in the delivery room with the twins.  My eyes were closed tight; I didn’t really know what was going on; and I didn’t care.  I just kept pushing as they all yelled at me to push.  I think there were two doctors and a midwife there, and two of them had my legs pressed against them.  After about 15 minutes of pushing, the first baby was born.  Everyone else in the room was excited.  I think I only opened my eyes for about 2 seconds before going back to yelling in isolated misery, because it wasn’t over yet. 

After that I don’t know what happened.  More pain, probably some pushing and pulling inside/outside my stomach, and 3 minutes later, the second baby was born.  Equally painful.  Ring of fire takes on all new meaning now.  But of course it still wasn’t over.  I had to deliver the placenta, which was painful.  And then I had stitches (the Dr. wouldn’t tell me how many) which hurt like you’d imagine it would to have a needle going through a tender area of your body.  Thanks a lot, epidural.  Not much help.

Hyrum was able to cut the umbilical cords and hold the first baby after she came out.  They took the babies out of the room, then brought them back a few minutes later and let us hold them.  I wasn’t at all interested in skin-to-skin time with the babies because I was such a mess physically.   Plus, I was laying on my back, so when they handed me the first baby all wrapped up, I couldn’t even see her face.  In the midst of all the hoopla, the midwife came and asked Hyrum what names we were naming baby 1 and baby 2.  He looked at me, and it shows how out of it I was physically that I just told him, “I don’t care, you decide.”  Of course we had an idea of names, but I’d been telling him for weeks I wanted to be able to see the babies first.  Nope, out the window.  The first baby is named Mila, and the second baby is Siena.

Holding Mila, who was wide awake and looking at us.

This is the midwife that was there for the birth, and the several hours of monitoring beforehand.

Enjoying the babies

Once the doctors all left, it was a little better.  We could hold the babies and relax a bit more.  And I could finally just breath normal knowing the doctors weren’t going to inflict anymore pain on me.  Before the midwife left, I asked her if they had id tags on the babies, because there was no way I could keep track of who was who that night.  She said yes, fortunately.  The girls look very similar, with dark hair and dark eyes.  Baby skin is always a bit pink, so it’s hard to tell what their coloring will be.  Mila weighs less than Siena, so she looks smaller and thinner through the face.  We also noticed that Mila was the only one that was crying on and off, so that was how we could tell who was who.  Siena mostly just slept through the first several hours.  We can’t tell yet if they’re identical, but I’m leaning towards not.

The proud dad.  Hyrum has always been worried about all the blood and gore of a delivery room, , but in the end found it all kind of fascinating.  Lucky for him, it was quick.  

Not long after that, we started hearing yelling from the room next door.  Apparently it was a good time to be giving birth.  That meant we didn’t see doctors again for a long time.  They didn’t bring me back to my room until 4:30.  Hyrum went home to sleep, and I was able to sleep for a few hours before they brought me the twins at 6:30, ready to start their first real day of life. 

Getting wheeled back to my room. 

Hospital Stay

I’ve now been in the hospital way longer than anticipated (going on my 4^th day) but I’m hoping to leave sometime today.  Fortunately, my mom arrived on Monday, so she was able to stay home with Tiago during this whole ordeal, and we haven’t had to worry about him.  Unfortunately, Tiago hasn’t really been napping, and hasn’t been in the best mood lately.  It doesn’t help that he probably feels abandoned by his parents.  (Although really, when Grandma’s around to make cherry scones and chocolate chip cookies, what does that kid have to complain about?!)

They came for a visit on Wednesday and Thursday, and Tiago wanted nothing to do with the babies.  Or me, for that matter.  During one of the visits, he walked in, looked at me, then walked back out waving his hand goodbye.  Funny kid.  He had a split second of being cute with one of his sisters, then pushed her away with complete disinterest.  It will sure be an interesting adjustment once we’re all home under one roof.

Family of 5!

After half a second of interest, he shoved that baby right out of Hyrum's arms. 

I think he preferred just playing with their cart, and pretending they weren't there.

Just hanging out.

Hyrum has been able to spend a lot of the time here with us, which is nice. There’s not a lot of entertainment, but it seems like there’s a constant stream of nurses and doctors coming and going.  The babies stay in the room with us except at night when I am able to bring them to the nursery.  The food isn’t bad.  The first day I got a “German breakfast”, which was a roll with meat and cheese, plus coffee. The next day they asked if I wanted an “American breakfast”—which included a donut and cereal.  That wasn’t a tough choice.  Lunch is always huge, plenty of food for two.  And dinner is usually a roll with meat and cheese.  Good thing I like sandwiches.

Overall, I feel a lot better than I did after giving birth the first time.  My lower back is quite sore from the epidural, plus the normal cramping, but I’ve been able to move around and not have any issues.  The initial dizziness went away, probably thanks to some iron supplements they gave me.  My blood pressure still seems a bit low (they take it regularly) but I suppose that’s nothing to complain about. 

It’s been an adventure trying to figure out two babies—holding, feeding, pumping, changing, burping, etc.  They’re tiny, and adorable, and we can’t wait to take them home.