I Guess This is Motherhood

You had an okay morning.  You watched me vacuum and mop the floor, and then you started crying so I played with you for a long time.  I helped you stand up and roll over.  You grabbed on to things.  When we played peek-a-boo, you laughed and laughed.  You were pretty cute.

You ate, and then fell asleep for a a nap just in time for me to eat lunch.  I thought that was nice.  But then you woke up an hour later.  And stayed wide. awake. until. bedtime.  You wouldn't sit in the swing or play by yourself without crying.  So I continued to play with you.  More peek-a-boo.  Books. Songs. Anything.

Its okay, I thought. Just a few more hours 'til bedtime, and then I can relax. 

Except bedtime came and went, and you still weren't falling asleep.  In fact, you were screaming - a high, shrill, loud scream.  Our house is too small for me to escape that kind of wailing.

The thought crossed my mind that I could take advantage of a few hours of free childcare on base because Daddy is deployed.  The thought of an occasional break brought me a flash of comfort.  But then I remembered that you stopped taking bottles last week.  

No bottles. No pacifiers.  Now what...

Oh yeah, now more screaming.

I tried to rock you.  Feed you.  Play with you.  But you were still miserable.  So I just put you back in your crib and listened.  Then - 20 minutes later -  there was a calm, relaxing silence.  So quiet it almost made my ears ring.

Interrupted by loooouuud screams.  Silence.  Screaming. Silence.  Screaming.

[Yes, I still hear you.]

 ......

At this point I feel like I should do two things:

1- apologize to my own mother.
2- go pray that this cute, happy boy returns tomorrow.