Mothering 3 toddlers

I've often thought about the differences in having a full-time career vs being a full-time SAHM.  In my experience, the biggest difference is how I feel stress.  Working full-time, I felt a constant level of stress from 8 am until 5:30 pm.  There were notable good and mad moments mixed in, but the stress level was just a general constant.  As a mom to newborns, I remember thinking the stress went up and down throughout the day.  I had a few hours of a baby sleeping on my chest, feeling totally relaxed, then a rush of stress trying to pump, feed babies, and entertain a toddler all at the same time. Then restful nap time, followed by the stress of trying to get three kids down the stairs, into their car seats, and through the grocery store before needing to be fed again.  Over and over.

I often hear other twin moms (with newborns) ask hopefully, "Does it get easier??"  My conclusion is that it just gets different.  I feel like the ups and downs of motherhood just get more intense and spread out.  I can go 7 or 8 hours sometimes with minimal stress, and then two crazy hours of wanting to lock my kids in a room while I stand outside and scream.

Day-to-day life is easier because it's no longer a feat of endurance to leave the house;  outings actually have become fun (most of the time.)  As Mila and Siena have gotten older I feel more fulfilled with the interactions I have with them--they're more responsive and have the ability to communicate a bit more than crying and smiling.  And at Tiago's age, it's fulfilling to have full conversations and understand better what happens inside a toddler's head.  

But when a toddler has a screaming tantrum for 30 minutes, I have way less patience than when a newborn cries.  They get more frustrated, and I get more frustrated, and it usually spirals downhill until bedtime.  (Thank goodness for bedtime!)  There's also the factor of skipping naps, which adds another level of stress into a day.  

Yesterday was a good example of how parenting has changed.  Most of the day went well: we went to Target in the morning, played at home, went to the gym.  Then the kids lost it on the way home. They all wanted snacks, but not the ones I had.  Siena wanted my medicine and was furious I wouldn't give it to her.  She wanted my water, which was all gone.  She wanted her shoes on, then off, then on, etc.  And after a 15 minute drive home of nothing but wailing, I tried to get food in them as quickly as possible so they could go to bed.  But they didn't want to eat anything, just hot chocolate.  (Not an option.)  Then they wanted to watch TV.  (Also not an option.)  It took 30 minutes to eat a few bites!  I would've thrown in the towel on dinner, but they had already refused most of their lunch.  

Finally, the girls went to bed, and I was lying with Tiago on his bed trying to get him to close his eyes.  Tiago asked if I was laying laying on top of the blankets because my clothes were dirty.  I told him, "Yes, now close your eyes and sleep."  A few seconds later he started putting his favorite blanket over my shoulders until it was spread out across my body.  "There Mom, now you're warm too."  It was so sweet.

The other day Tiago told me he wanted to write my name (I didn't know he could write.)  I told him the letters, and this is what he produced, followed by a jumbled version of "Tiago."  Seeing his progress is heart warming.

So there you have it, the ups and downs of mothering toddlers.  I'm curious as my kids get older if the stress and joy will become even more intense and spaced out.