What's it like having twins?

When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I was in complete shock.  Apparently some women always secretly hope they have twins, but honestly the thought never crossed my mind.

Now that I've survived a twin pregnancy and spent the last 4 months with these girls, I thought I'd write some of my thoughts on life with twins.

[But first, an explanation about these pictures, which I just remembered I'd never posted before!  The first three were taken by a photographer in the hospital.  They're scanned copies of the originals, so the quality looks really bad.  I can't believe how much hair the girls have... and Siena's hair is all over the place -- childbirth is tough on them, too!  And a word on those stuffed animals: sometimes Germans just do weird things.  I think it's culturally acceptable for them to stick a completely random - fairly ugly - stuffed animal into a baby picture; and they think it's adorable.  But whatever... the pictures were free.  Moving on.  The rest of the pictures were taken when the girls were about two weeks old by a friend of mine.  Let's just say a newborn shoot with two babies is a lot of work!  They weren't asleep for hardly any of it, and we were kind of scrambling around just to keep the girls safe and not screaming.  But I love how they turned out.  Also, the bows are a bit random once I remembered to put them on.  Their heads were so tiny hardly any headbands fit properly at that point.  Enough about the pictures.]

^^Siena

^^Mila

The other day a woman stopped me in the grocery store.  To set the scene, Tiago was sitting up front, one carseat was in the back, and a baby was strapped to my chest.  She said, "I just found out I'm having twins, and it's so nice to see that you can really do it!"  I saw a lot of nervousness and relief in her face, and an unasked question kind of hung in the air: will I survive??  I felt for her.  

Part way through my pregnancy I remember writing down a bunch of questions I was wondering about.  And in this case, wondering translates to searching the internet during most of my free time for any information that might help.  With time, we figured it all out.  Here are those questions, now answered.

What stroller can accommodate three kids under the age of two?  Baby Jogger City Select. It's awesome, as far as double strollers go.  Tiago sits obediently on the little kickboard and away we go!  
Where in the world will everyone sleep?  We moved Tiago into our old office, put the desk in storage, and sleep both girls in one crib in Tiago's old nursery.  About half of Tiago's current room is used for storage, but he does have a bed and dresser.
Do we move Tiago to a bed before he's 18 months old?  Kind of.  We had two cribs: one for the girls, one for Tiago.  But in anticipation of needing him out of the crib, we started putting him to sleep on the mattress on the floor, and took his crib apart entirely.  He sleeps half-off the mattress,so I'm not sure how he'll do with a real bed (once we move) but the girls are already starting to kick each other at night so separate cribs for them are on the horizon.
Should we be buying a van, like we'd always planned on doing when we had three kids?  There were no good vans to be had in Germany (something to last us... forever) so we bought a sedan and squished all three car seats in the back.  I cannot wait to get a van!  Even the price tag doesn't affect me much... for the last several months when I look at our bank accounts I'm already mentally adjusting things for the cost of a van.   
Is it even possible to go home for Christmas this year like we'd planned?  Nope.  I couldn't fly that late in my pregnancy (so I missed one sister's wedding) but we were able to go in November instead and make it for another sister's wedding.  You win some, you lose some.
Will I be missing weddings for multiple siblings?  Yes.  I missed TWO weddings.  I still can't really believe it, but it was very much out of my control, and I suppose it was about time for them to get married so there was no point in waiting.
Will we be able to travel with three babies without going insane?  Yes, we didn't go insane, but it was an adjustment to slow way down and plan to do way less.  After one family trip to Venice we decided to split up and take solo trips while the other stayed home with the kids.  I'll call that "creative problem solving." 
How in the world would we come up with TWO baby names when figuring out just one was a huge struggle?  The struggle is/was real.  But eventually we committed to Mila and Siena.  
Breastfeeding two babies...?  .... nope.  I pumped for two months, and then switched to formula.  Best decision ever (for me). But that's a whole other topic for another day.
Will I be able to move or do anything when I'm 7 months pregnant?  Yes! I was happily surprised that I never had to go on bed rest, although I felt pretty huge and useless by 7 or 8 months.  (Let's be honest, I felt that way by 5 months.)

What I told the lady in the store was that it's not nearly as bad as I was expecting.  It's hard.  And it's expensive.  But it's possible.  I also told her that she should invest in a really good double stroller.

I actually have really enjoyed these two during the newborn stage, particularly early on when they slept for looooong stretches during the day and night.  :)  I think I braced myself for the worst, and heard a lot of people tell me that 'once they're older, it will work out great because they will entertain each other.'

As much as I fought against the idea at first, and sort of wished there was one instead of two, it's impossible now to think of having one here without the other.  Both Mila and Siena make our family complete.

That being said, it's a lot of work.  Of course there's twice as much feeding, bottle washing and diaper changing. But that's the easy part.  Some days I don't even get five minutes without at least one of my kids being awake and wanting attention. The older they get, the needier they get.  And Tiago decides on a daily basis whether he likes them, or whether he wants to throw toys at them.  Once they're crying, I have to console them, which takes the attention off the first born and he starts crying, too. 

[That picture up there was a piece of work!  We basically had to force him next to the basket and then take pictures of him running away.  He wanted nothing to do with them.  Someone told me he looks like a protective older brother... ha!]

I've spent a lot of time thinking about the baby stage, and I have asked myself whether I would have enjoyed each girl more if they came separately and not together.  And I think my answer is yes, which might be the toughest part of having twins so far.  With Tiago I had a lot of sweet moments of just me and him sitting in the big recliner making faces at each other, or watching him sleep in my arms after the last feeding of the night.  There were certain songs I sang to him, and a lot of playing after he got out of the bathtub before he got dressed.

It's hard to get that unique one-on-one time with two babies at the same time.  So much of what I do with them is simultaneous.  If I sit on the floor entertaining them and making them smile, it's an experience shared between the three of us.  They get fed together, do tummy time together, and take walks together.  When it's bath time (a rare occurrence at our house) I hurry and finish with one so I can bathe the other before they're both screaming.  A lot of the attention I give them is reactionary.  Whichever one is fussiest gets held.  And during the moments when they're both clean, dressed/diapered, and content/asleep, I have Tiago's messes to pick up, bottles to wash and laundry to fold.

A lot of these issues probably arise with any baby that's not the first, but when it comes to prioritizing the needs of children, it's easy to say the newborn gets the attention when needed and the others can wait.  (I do it with Tiago all the time.)  Two newborns though changes the equation.

I'm not sure if this will become irrelevant when they're older.  Maybe less baby demands will give me more time to devote to one-on-one attention.  Or maybe the pros of being a twin will just start to dwarf this con.  In the long run I know they will love having each other as companions and best friends.

For now, though, they just unknowingly kick each other in the face and compete for my attention.  And I keep trying to juggle them all the best I can.  Occasionally they get a little squished (see picture below for evidence) but they forget stuff, so I think they'll all turn out okay!