Over the last few months we've gotten into a new bedtime routine around here. Which got me thinking about how different bedtime looked a year ago, or a few years ago. I thought it would be fun to write down how things have changed over time.
Going way back to Tiago being a baby... I obviously put him in bed for the first seven months while Hyrum was in Afghanistan. As soon as Hyrum got back, I was still breastfeeding, and I remember Hyrum coming in the dark nursery and sitting on a small stool while I fed Tiago. He wanted to be part of the action, and actually started singing (more likely humming, since he doesn't know the words) a hymn to Tiago regularly, which Tiago still requests at bedtime. (How Great the Wisdom) Super random, but it stuck. Pretty quickly, I switched Tiago to a bottle, in part so Hyrum could take over bedtime. And they created a super elaborate routine. (Back when I read parenting books, and they all said how important routines are.) It involved turning on the light, looking in the mirror, laying on a certain pillow, etc. I obviously never learned it all.
When the girls were born.. it was survival. And I don't remember.
Once we moved to South Carolina, we usually bathed them all together, gave them bottles of milk, and put the girls in their cribs. We spent more time laying on Tiago's bed reading to him. I think he fought bedtime every night for the 6.5 months we lived there. I have vivid memories of sitting outside his room holding the door closed so he couldn't leave, and listening to him throw his body against the door repeatedly. This was also the start of him getting up in the middle of the night and coming into our room, although that got worse in Colorado.
Most of my memories of bedtime in Colorado don't involve Hyrum because he was gone so much. And because of that, I remember counting down the minutes to bedtime (possibly starting around noon), occasionally turning the lights off by 6 pm. To kill time, I had them take long baths pretty much daily, although baths rarely involved hair washing. (I have nightmares of brushing the girls hair around age 2. SO tangled.) I could sit in the hallway and lean against the wall and look in to watch them. When they were in their cribs, I put one of them in bed to drink a bottle and held the other one in the rocking chair. I sang them each a song, then left. Eventually, they moved to a shared double bed, and that was more fun to wind down together at the end of the night. I read (actually, never read, always paraphrased to make shorter) a few books to them. I taught them a few primary songs that we'd sing together. (Particularly on nights when the bedtime routine started early because I couldn't handle the day any more, and I was trying stretch it out so they didn't wake up too early.) The girls loved to sing. I sang them each a song after turning off the lights and rubbed their back. They were always good about staying in bed and just going to sleep. (Although, occasionally talked for a while.)
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Most of the time we were in Colorado, I spent 30-ish minutes reading books with Tiago before his bedtime. (Or when Hyrum was around, he often did it.) It was enjoyable for both of us, and a good way to relax. We read through most of the Roald Dahl books and Mr. Popper's Penguins. We also started reading Bob Books with him to help him learn to read. By the time we moved (he was 4.5) he could read basic words.
After moving to Texas, I was burned out and basically let Hyrum run the show, since he was no longer spending weeks training in the field or deploying. It was a rough start. I spent their bedtime going for walks outside, and most nights as I was trying to leave the girls would run in the hallway crying hysterically trying to follow me. Hyrum held them back. Mila often hyperventilated. It was a little sad and a little ridiculous. They still required help brushing their teeth and getting their pajamas on, even though it felt like they should be doing it on their own. Everyone was frustrated, and there were a lot of tears.
Hyrum came up with "five minutes of playtime" to try to change the mood. If they hurried to get ready, he'd play anything with them for five minutes. Somehow they all invited a game called "Rocket". The kids all got on the bunk bed, Hyrum turned off the lights, they counted down from 10, the lights flashed, and then they picked a time/place where the rocket ship landed. They traveled through space, the land of the dinosaurs, castles, spider attacks, etc. It got super loud and wild, but they were into it. Then they got a few books, and Hyrum turned off their lights. (We also let them listen to lullaby/bedtime music through their Alexa speaker, which they loved.)
Tiago got an additional 5 minutes of play time, which usually got stretched longer because he has Hyrum wrapped around his finger. They often set up battles with the army figurines, or built things with Legos. And Tiago always complained (actually, threw a fit) when the alarm went off. Hyrum and I both spent a lot of time reading with Tiago. Hyrum continued with the Bob Books, and Tiago pretty quickly was an excellent reader. He also went through a Spanish reading book and Tiago 'graduated' with flying colors, reading completely fluently in Spanish while still in Pre-k. We read through beginner chapter books with him. Or kid encyclopedias. We read several books from the series "Who was..." or "What was..." (Da Vinci, San Francisco Earthquake, Ellis Island, etc.) Most notably, Hyrum used to lay with Tiago while he fell asleep at night. "Arrunchis." And inevitably, Hyrum fell asleep. And I'd eventually have to go find him because it had been so long. He claimed it was a good rest, but I think it messed with him actually going to bed at night.
Often, in an attempt to put Tiago in bed in 10 minutes instead of 45, I'd offer to do it. I'd sing him a song and scratch his back and he usually didn't complain when I left. The kids usually went to sleep around 7:30. (More like 7 for the girls.)
Most of the time I was pregnant with Enzo, bedtime was my chance to lock myself in my room and be alone/rest. Mostly be alone.
After Enzo, one of us put him in bed and one of us did the older kids. And it's been like that for most of the last year. Around March, in an effort to get Enzo sleeping longer in the morning, we pushed his bedtime back to 8:30. And the kids have gradually gone to bed and woken up later (also 8:30-ish, Tiago closer to 9.)
As things stand today, I usually let Hyrum entertain the baby while I put the older kids in bed, because to me, that's the easier option. If we start early enough, I read a chapter book with the kids all together. Then Hyrum will read in Spanish with the girls for 5 minutes while I watch Enzo. Then the girls each get a song while I rub their back. (Siena always picks Hush my Dear One or Silent Night. Mila always picks So This is Love or Someday my Prince will Come.) After, they talk, but then fall asleep. Over the summer they decided they didn't like listening to music anymore while falling asleep.
I read a few verses in the Book of Mormon with Tiago, and then we read a fun book for about ten minutes. He has so many books he loves reading--about dinosaurs, outer space, history, geography. I learn so much during those five minutes. I learned this past week that there are five types of white blood cells... Then I scratch his back while singing How Great the Wisdom. It's a fun time with him to have conversations. He told me it feels so good to have his back scratched that he's going to invent a machine when he gets older.
Enzo is simple... we still rock him and feed him a bottle like he's a baby. It's probably time to switch things up with him, since he's almost 14 months... but this is easier.
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